Seasons of Change

Every period in life is temporary, but in the moment it can sometimes feel permanent. It can feel like the people you are with will be there forever. The way you feel will be this way forever. The way you view yourself will never change.

But this is not the case. Sometimes change hits you like a bus. All of a sudden, everything is different and will never return to how it was. The past becomes a memory and the memories will eventually fade. The person you were then will be gone, and you will turn into a different person.

Seasons of change are often soul shattering, heartbreaking, but ultimately necessary. They test our strength and our ability to rebuild ourselves. They force us to undergo the changes we need, but probably don’t know we need at the time. They force us to grow up and question ourselves. Question our path and our life choices.

Each time a season of change occurs in my life, I feel emotions I do not understand. They change rapidly and without my control. I sit back and watch what happens, and I release it from my body. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I laugh or feel relief. At other times I feel nothing at all. There are even some emotions that do not have words to describe them.

With time, I will return to a new equilibrium. My balance will be different from before. I will need to adjust and come to grips with the fact that life can sometimes be difficult. Through it all, through my sadness and nostalgia, I still find it all very beautiful. I still think life is incredible. The fact that I am even able to express and feel such deep and strong emotions is amazing. In the end, I will be stronger.

But, this is not the end. There will be more pain in life. More changes that I am unprepared for. I don’t think it’s possible to be prepared for these types of things. However, it is possible to be strong. To care for yourself, and to know that it is all just a part of life.