Stressful Days and Unanswered Questions

It seems like the older I get, the more complicated my problems become. Everything seems so much more significant, while the lines between right and wrong, ethical and immoral, and objectivity and subjectivity become more and more gray.

We are responsible for choosing our own values. Do we accept those that have been instilled in us by our families over the course of our childhood, or do we replace them with other values? How do we know which ones are best?

The choices we make have lasting impacts on the trajectory of our lives. Should we tell people how we feel about them, or keep this to ourselves? Should we accept being treated badly in a relationship, even if there are many positive aspects to it? Where do we draw the line? These answers can be dependent on the person; but, there is really no way to know for sure.

Unfortunately, with a lot of difficult choices in life, we will never know which option is best. Real life doesn’t have an undo button. We can’t assess each path and choose our favorite after weighing the results. We just have to choose something and see what happens.

I’m sure there is a lot I don’t fully understand yet about life. I will learn more as I make mistakes and begin to comprehend these intricacies on deeper levels. I imagine it is not going to get any easier overtime, but the questions I have right now will likely seem juvenile in a couple of years.

Sometimes I feel like I have it all figured out. Whatever that means. However, some days, like today, are confusing, overwhelming, and stressful. They make me question all that I know and everything I hold dear. I feel like at any moment I could just spontaneously combust.

At any rate, these days are necessary. Or maybe if I keep telling myself this, it will be easier to handle them. I hope as I keep moving forward, I will continue to grow – through difficult and confusing days I will keep reflecting, and through the mundane I will be grateful for all that I have.

Maybe years from now, this will all make sense to me. I will create a narrative in my mind that explains why I felt the ways I currently do, how these moments have been significant for my character development, and whether the choices I’m making now were beneficial or harmful in the long run.

Until then, whenever “then” is, I guess I’ll just see how things go.