Addiction

Emotions
Our body’s way of experiencing life
A part of ourselves
But not every part

Strong, passionate and intense
Heart breaking
Exhilarating

Too much to handle at times
So we silence feelings
With alcohol and drugs
Through numbing and ignoring

Thoughts
Our mind’s way of experiencing life
A part of ourselves
But not every part

Intriguing, interesting and analytical
Overwhelming
Exhilarating

Too much to handle at times
So we silence thoughts
With alcohol and drugs
Through numbing and ignoring

We cannot ignore forever
The thoughts build up
The feelings build up
Becoming deeper and more complicated

Unresolved thoughts and feelings
Do not go away
They start to take over
Control us

They form our personalities
Shape our sense of self
Give us preconceived notions
Tell us what we are capable of

Take us away from ourselves
We become empty shells
For there is another part of ourselves
That is neither thoughts nor emotions

If we lose control of this part
It is hard to get it back
But we must figure it out
For there is too much at stake

What is this last part?
It cannot be described well with words
But when it’s gone
You know

Something is missing
A hole takes its place
But this hole does not stay empty for long
It is filled

With alcohol and drugs
We ignore our thoughts
Our feelings
Ourself
And fill that hole

But the hole is only so large
It can overflow
All that we put in starts to leak out
We give away our self to these forces

Maybe we’re convinced we deserve it
We self sabatoge
Because deep down
We don’t love ourselves

It doesn’t have to be this way
We can learn to love
But we may need to start over
And catch up

Fill this emptyness
With experiences
That cause us to feel our emotions
Think our thoughts
Regain control over ourselves

All that you’ve repressed
Will come to surface
Strong feelings
Intense thoughts

Everything that has been built up
Is released
It is intense
But we cannot hide from it
For there is too much at stake