Curiosity: My Greatest Strength, But Also My Greatest Weakness

I have this perception of the world based on all of the experiences that I’ve had and realize that it is not fully complete. There is more I do not know than what I do know. 

As I try to educate myself, through a formal education system, but also through exploring my own curiosities in books, documentaries, and traveling, I find myself with an endless list of questions.

Sometimes these questions can be answered by a quick Google search, or finding a book specifically on this topic, but other times the answers cannot be obtained so easily. 

My greatest trait is also my deepest flaw. I would like to know everything. I would like to understand why things are the way they are. Why do people think the ways that they do? Who is right? What is the full perspective? 

While curiosity has allowed me to expand my mind far more than I ever thought possible, it has driven me to insanity at certain points of my life. When I have a question, I want to know immediately the answer. But, not only that, I would also like to understand the opposing perspectives as well. However, sometimes the answers don’t come as quickly or easily as I had hoped.

My impatience drives me crazy. My need to understand the situation fully makes me anxious when I realize that I may never find the solution to a problem or the answer to a burning question. Not only do I want to know, I want to know right now. I forget at times that certain answers will take time. Maybe a few weeks or months, but sometimes also a couple years, or never. I don’t really know. 

I realize that if I knew everything right now, then that would take the joy out of life. For if I already had all of my answers in this current moment, then I’m not sure what I would do next. I don’t know what my life purpose would be at that point. Fortunately, my endless pursuit of knowledge will never be complete. I could spend my entire life amassing as much as possible, and still die with terrible misunderstandings and gaps in my perception. 

This realization is pretty obvious, but it is hard for me to accept fully. While I know intuitively that I will never understand it all, a part of me wants to challenge that notion by questioning as much as possible while I still have the time.