The Key to Happiness

In a way, I think that the long years of sadness I endured during my childhood lowered my threshold for what I’d consider to be a happy experience. It doesn’t take much to make me feel extremely happy. I’ve grown to love everything about life so deeply because I am grateful for the non-traumatic experiences. The simple things in life, or at least the things I’d consider simple now, such as a nice cup of coffee, a walk out in nature, or a thought provoking mural bring me such an intense amount of joy that I cannot help but exude happiness from my very being.

I understand that much of joy originates from novel experiences and so it is easy to take for granted a nice meal if you’ve never experienced food insecurity. It’s easy to form expectations about what you deserve in life when necessities have always been guarantees.

But when you grow up with little, any offering, no matter how small, seems like a precious gift. A warm bed, a hot shower, and some fresh fruits and vegetables are privileges that I feel lucky to have. It’s easy to forget that these same privileges aren’t granted to everyone.

It’s hard for me to tolerate complaints about irrelevant problems because it seems like people are just taking life for granted. It’s hard for me to understand why minor inconveniences can ruin someone’s entire day when others have gone through deeply traumatic experiences.

They say that you shouldn’t compare the pain of one person to another, but I have to disagree with this statement strongly. Of course, certain experiences are difficult in completely different ways and therefore cannot be compared, but there still exists problems that are objectively worse than others.

I will never (or hopefully never) understand what it’s like to come from a war torn country and have to escape everything I know and everyone I love and care about for my own safety. I don’t know what it’s like psychologically to be raped or kidnapped. I don’t understand fully the trauma of others that I have never experienced first hand. And I could never claim to understand their struggles no matter how much research I may do on a specific topic.

All I know are the experiences I have gone through. I understand what it’s like to have very little and then end up in a place much more privileged than the past. And I am grateful for everything that I now have because I understand what it’s like to live without it.

Although I will never understand the traumas I’ve never experienced before, and I may never be fully aware of what it’s like to not have certain things I have always been guarenteed, I am grateful for what I have in life.

I am grateful for an education (despite the fact that there are major flaws within the system). I am grateful for the fact that I don’t have to live each day in fear that my life is going to end. I am grateful because I have clean clothes and shoes to wear. I am grateful to have friends and family who care about me. I am grateful for the fact that I was able to escape an emotionally and physically abusive household with the help of neighbors, close friends, and the family members who took me in. And most of all, I am grateful to not live each day afriad of my family kicking me out on the streets or putting me into the foster care system.

I remember feeling so hopeless about the future as a child. I wasn’t fully aware of what I was lacking in life, but I did see that many other children had things I did not.

I was afraid to speak my mind or question my life to any degree at all. My thoughts and feelings were silenced and discarded. But now that I am free, I can finally let these be heard. I can question as much as I want. I can share my life story with whoever I want. I don’t have to worry anymore about being thrown out of the house because I made it out. I don’t have to be afriad of being emotionally abused because I can choose who gets to be a part of my life.

It feels good to be free and independant. I am already living the life I dreamed of as a child and realize that it’s possible to make my dreams a reality even if it seems close to impossible at times. I realized that this dream was the only thing I held onto when everything in life seemed like it was falling apart. It was this sliver of hope that kept me going. And now that I am here, I am going to dedicate the rest of my life to those who are going through similar situations.

I want them to realize that they deserve much more in life than they have been granted thus far. I want them to see the beauty I have been lucky enough to experience.

I want those who have been given nearly everything in life to recognize the beauty that exists around them. I want them to realize how lucky they are to not have to sacrifice everything in life to receive basic necessities. If only they let go of their expectations of what life is supposed to be, they’ll realize that they already have it.

Be grateful for where you are. Count your blessings. Not everyone has what you have. Remember to stop and reflect every once in a while about the privileges you’ve been granted. When you do this, you’ll start to realize how beautiful life is and be much happier as a result of it.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.