How Can Our Personality Change?

The personality traits we exhibit vary to a degree depending on the environment we are in and the people we are with.

They say that traveling changes you, but I think a more accurate thing to say would be traveling to a new place, with a different set of people, reveals another aspect of our personality traits to ourselves.

The person I am in Cape Town, South Africa is different from the one I was in Costa Rica because I needed to rely on different aspects of myself in order to operate best in each place.

Traveling frequently can sometimes feel as though I am leaving aspects of myself behind in each new location. By adjusting to a new environment, I must let go of certain traits that I hold onto in other environments in order to be successful. This has made me ponder the concept of personality and ego on a deeper level. If the person I am changes based on such factors, is it fair to claim that any of them are me at all? Are they all me? Is there one “me” that is more me than the others? And if so, which one is it?

The person I am at school is my attempt at being an organized and planner type person. If I don’t plan to some degree, I am bound to be unsuccessful in such a setting. It forces me to stretch a certain muscle that doesn’t come naturally to me. If I was not in this particular setting, it is unlikely that I would plan anything at all. On the otherhand, when I am exploring a new place, I don’t make any plans whatsoever, feel much more relaxed, and exist in the present moment.

I think maybe these travel experiences help me figure out which aspects of my personality come most naturally to me. It’s kind of as if I am trying on a new mask in each different country and I am trying to figure out which mask is closest to my actual face underneath it. Maybe there’s just a blank slate under each mask, or maybe depending on how well each mask fits, I will get some insight into how my face fits the costume overall.

As I leave each place, I take off one mask for the pursuit of another. It’s strange though because through every new experience, whether it be travel, a new job, or a new university, I feel myself changing on the outset and can’t exactly articulate clearly what these differences mean or how to describe them in a way that even my own mind can understand.

Sometimes it’s not possible to return to a particular environment after you’ve left already. I will never be able to return to high school (thank goodness) and be in that environment with the same people as before, and so, in a way, it’s almost as if that part of myself is forever gone.

Sometimes it feels a little bit tragic leaving big parts of our lives behind and I think it’s because we know that there is no possible way for things to ever be the same again. The change itself is scary because it’s hard to know if the person we will be in the next place is closer or further away from our natural state of being.

Maybe, deep down, we’re all just looking for a place where we don’t have to wear a mask at all. But, we can only do so if we are comfortable with ourselves already because sometimes the person we naturally are doesn’t quite mesh well with our new environment. Sometimes it would be safer to adjust our personalities to fit in, grab a mask, and fulfill a role in the social hierarchy.

We’re told to “be ourselves” our whole lives, but sometimes if you do that, you won’t fit in well. Is it better to fit in or stand out? Is it better to find out who we naturally are, or stretch ourselves to fit every role? Is there really a core of my being, or is this merely a delusion I can’t seem to let go of? And will letting go of these masks become easier overtime, or will I eventually stop wearing them entirely?