Feminism Is

To me, feminism is acknowledging the fact that many of the perceived differences between men and women were socialized into us and not merely representations of our evolutionary history. It’s about realizing that the roles we are often encouraged to play in our society can limit our options in life, and going against these social norms can result in isolation, condemnation from our peers, and even sometimes violence even though they should not.

For a while, I said I wasn’t a feminist. I think, at the time, I had a poor understanding of how social movements operated. I lumped together everyone who called themselves a feminist because I believed the movement was homogenous. I believed that the radical points of view I disagreed with within the movement were an accurate representation of feminism as a whole.

But, in doing so, I was failing to realize the fact that there exists a range of diverse points of view within every particular movement, and to discard social justice entirely because you disagree with certain perspectives within it is closeminded and extremely limiting.

Feminism is necessary not only for women, but also for men. It’s about questioning whether these gender norms we’ve established are really beneficial. Are there certain expectations we’ve placed on men and women that they feel pressured to abide by even though they may not want to? Are men encouraged to hide their emotions in order to appear more “manly?” Are women framed as overly emotional and crazy if they show any sort of negative emotions? Also, why is it that showing emotions is so bad anyway?

It is about questioning why so many women are sexually assaulted over the course of their lives and how this may be the result of a flawed and unjust culture. It’s about the fact that when many women do share their stories, the first instinct is to not believe her (#metoo), question how much she was drinking, and the clothes she was wearing instead of questioning why the perpetrator thought their actions were justified.

It’s about questioning why many of the careers that are populated by women are either devalued and underpaid (teachers) or in positions that are assistants to male dominated roles (nurse vs doctor, flight attendant vs pilot, secretary vs boss). It’s almost as if we are lower level beings serving our masters. (This is not to say that these occupations are not important, but the way we view them is from a place of subordination.)

It’s about questioning why the perspective of a female is lacking in high offices (our governments, world leaders, CEOs, etc), and how might this perspective pave the road for a better world.

It’s about the fact that girls are raised to believe that their level of attractiveness and weight are more important than their minds whereas men are encouraged to be smart, outspoken, and strong.

It’s about acknowledging the fact that suicide rates for men are significantly higher than for women, and why this may be. Do they have a higher amount of pressure on their shoulders to chase status, power, and success? Do they feel a need to be the “sole breadwinner of the family” and cannot handle this massive responsibility on their own? Is it because men typically don’t have many close male friendships in which they feel comfortable expressing their more vulnerable side for fear of appearing gay? Also why does being gay have a negative connotation anyway? Someone should not be valued less because their sexual orientation is different from our perceived norms in this particular period in history.

Each gender has their own problems that are created by these roles. Personally, I am not too knowledgable about the struggles men face, but I’ve observed a whole lifetime’s worth of problems that women face. We should discuss the problems we’re experiencing more. Feminism is about bringing these issues to light and realizing that the only way to fix something is by first admitting the problem exists.

If we continue to ignore the issues that women and men face in our society, then they will never go away. Feminism is necessary because without it, we will never acheive equality. Without it, we are bound to keep repeating the same problems over and over again, reinforcing norms that don’t make sense, harming everyone involved to differing degrees, and living in a state of insanity.

Most importantly, the only way we can fully understand the problems people of other genders are facing is to talk to them and listen. A man will never fully understand what it’s like to be a female in today’s world, but he can listen and be receptive to the fact that her experience is different from his own. The same goes for women understanding men. If we want to change the world, everyone’s voice needs to be heard, actively listened to, and taken seriously.