“All You Need is Love” is Stupid Bullshit.

I love having close female friendships. I feel as though the bond is like no other. But time after time I watch my friends throw me to the side like a piece of trash as soon as a guy enters their lives.

It’s as if my value diminishes to zero as soon as a man takes my place. This started ten years ago with my best friend. I watched as friend after friend repeated this process as if our relationship meant nothing.

It’s hard to know what to do in these situations. Of course I want my friends to be happy, but is there not room for being happy with both friends and romantic prospects? It feels as though if I get mad or say anything at all, it’s coming from a place of jealousy.

Maybe there is a hint of jealousy involved. Or maybe I feel anger and sadness knowing that people who are my supposed closest friends will only stay by my side until somebody better comes along.

I can’t even be judgemental, though. I did the same as soon as I entered a long term relationship. My friends were immediately thrown to the side and he was placed on top. I didn’t realize it at the time. I got so caught up in my relationship that I neglected so many people I loved along the way.

It wasn’t until we broke up that I realized how much I had pushed my friends to the side. I didn’t realize how much my romantic relationship caused me to devalue my platonic ones.

Love has been idealized so much so in our world, through the movies we watch, tv shows, and the emphasis on marriage and starting a family. Time and time again we see the same cliche. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. Then of course comes the stupid petty drama to keep the audience interested. They get together in the end. Woohoo. So predictable. So boring. Maybe the characters have a few friends. But, let’s be real. Do the friends actually play an important role or are they only there to help carry the romantic story along? Do the friends talk about topics together that AREN’T about getting the guy?

If you start paying attention to movies and shows, you’ll notice the fact that the majority of conversations between women in movies are about men. Is this the only thing that matters in our lives? Are we really so one dimensional?

It’s like finding love is our only reason for being. But there are so many kinds other of love that are just as, if not more, important.

Maybe this makes me so angry because I watched my parents do the same thing to me as a child. I watched them choose the love of a spouse or significant other over their own children. Maybe those decisions made them happy at the time, but what happens when the love runs out? What happens when the relationships end?

They find themselves alone and trying to pick up the pieces. They try to erase the years of pain with a few half hearted apologies that are supposed to make everything better again.

But life isn’t a movie. Sometimes the stupid petty drama doesn’t get resolved in the end. Sometimes the drama isn’t so stupid, after all. Sometimes it’s painful and damaging.

And sometimes I don’t want to be a side character, only there to help carry along the romantic storyline.