Gender is a Social Construct

I am so fucking tired of people assuming things about me because of my gender. Just because I’m small does not mean I’m weak. Just because women are expected to be beautiful does not mean they’re stupid. I’m not bad at sports, but most would never know because I’m only passed the ball twice during a game of basketball, and if I make a mistake the first time, it’s very hard for me to get a second chance.

We categorize qualities into “masculine” and “feminine” boxes, and we oversimplify complex human beings with these over generalizations, seeing them through the outer layer, their gender. Sex is a very real thing, but gender is a social construct.

I know it’s hard for some people to accept, but it is possible to both be sweet and caring, and outspoken and strong. Just because a woman is nurturing doesn’t mean she can’t kick your ass if she wanted to.

Another thing that pisses me off is that I, as a woman, am always boxed together with children. What is this “take care of the women and children” bullshit? I am a full adult, capable of taking care of myself. I am not a helpless damsel in distress and I’m tired of being seen through that lens.

I struggle with asking for help, not because I’m not interested in improving my skills, but because as soon as I do, I’m automatically seen as incompetent and unable to handle difficult tasks. But guess what? Everyone sucks at things the first couple times they do them, and the only way any of us can hope to improve is by seeking guidance and continuing to practice.

My role in life is much more than being pretty and popping out babies. I am brave, smart, independent, and mentally and physically strong. I am also empathetic, kind, loving, and vulnerable. None of these traits belong to one gender or another. And when we put these traits into masculine and feminine boxes, we prevent people from being complete versions of themselves.

All of these traits are important for different reasons, but far too often we demonize the feminine traits, framing vulnerability as a weakness, calling it “overly emotional,” and framing femininity as a negative thing saying, “You fight like a girl,” or calling people pussies when they’re showing any sort of weakness.

But you know what? Pussies are fucking strong so it doesn’t even make sense to use that word when you’re attempting to call someone weak. I’d like to see someone pop human life out of their penis and then we can talk.

I don’t want to hear men (or other women) calling women bitches anymore. When I hear bitch, I automatically think strong and outspoken, traits that are both applauded in men, yet demonized in women. There is no winning here for us. This is exhausting and it’s something that is pushed on us every single day in the society we live in, but when I’m pushing back on this force every day of my life, I get tired and it honestly makes me very angry.

I understand that change happens slowly, and at times, since I am living as a woman for my entire life, I can grow impatient. I don’t want my entire existence as a human being to be under these tight constraints. Maybe it happens one by one, with slightly uncomfortable, but honest conversations. Maybe strong women, like myself and many of my closest friends, can empower other women to see outside of their own self imposed boxes. Maybe writing and having conversations about these topics will slowly start to shift things.

I know there will always be pushback on the forces that try to drive society forward. The friction will burn and sometimes the opposing force will be stronger than the force going forward, but these movements cannot and should not stop just because certain segments of society will resist the change. All we can do is continue to push forward and be the bad ass pussy bitches that we are.