that power

i wasted so much time
trying to make people care
when they didn’t

attempting to control the outcome
when i couldn’t

grasping for straws
when there were none left

eternally frustrated
by all that was lacking
wanting love
that would never work out
striving for realities
that made no sense at all

desperate for what i thought i needed
reaching and grabbing
but my hands were always empty

i’ve had nothing to hold onto

maybe all this striving
was unnecessary

i never had to reach for
the people who already cared
and the love that was already there

they came in abundance
but i was far too distracted
by what was missing
i was blind to
what i already had

and maybe i can’t control the outcome
however much i think i do
not so sure
i’d want that power anyway