ambiguity

Ambiguity
Loose ends blowing in the wind
Im floating around
Somewhere
Thinking that
One day ill land
And everything will make sense

Sometimes I do
Before im swept away
Once again
Each time afraid
My feet will never touch the ground
But when they do
All I want
Is to be floating

The anxiety of aimlessness
The fear of stability
Up and down
Moving and still
Reaching and grasping
For some idea
Of what I think it means
To be happy

Part of me wonders
If happiness is only an illusion
A temporary sensation
That is not mine
And won’t ever be mine

How could I hold on
To something so intangible
But the fear isn’t mine either
Nothing is

I own nothing.

I move around
Picking up layers
While shedding others
Holding onto thoughts
While dropping core beliefs
And none of it
Has ever been permanent

None of it
Was ever mine in the first place

Im just a vessel
Ideas flow in and out
Feelings and thoughts
Just a figment of the imagination

A vessel that sometimes floats
And sometimes is still
Occasionally feels immense pain
But also experiences intense joy

That’s it
An experience
Of a vessel
Floating through space
Crashing into things
Along the way
Going places
And then leaving
Meeting people
Then saying goodbye

One
Two
Three
It’s all over