Social Isolation Diaries #3

Now is an odd time to graduate from college. I (sort of) had plans for the future – or at least the next few months, and now I have no idea what’s going to happen next. 

I feel like this moment is what I’ve been waiting for my entire life. Finally. After 16 years of formal education. Sitting in boring lectures. Counting down the moments until I can leave class. Procrastinating my homework until right before it’s due. Learning an adequate amount of information right before an exam so I can do well enough on the test to at least score close to average. I’m not the biggest fan of school.

I’ve wanted to graduate for so long because I viewed my future as a great black hole of wonder. I could do anything and everything I’ve always wanted to do. I’d finally be free!! Free from the shackles of busywork and useless professors. 

I know I’m about to enter the shackles of another flawed system. But at least this would be a new experience? 

But with Corona, I have no idea what’s going to happen next. I don’t have a guaranteed job. I’m done with school. 

Whenever this crisis ends, I’ll need to find something to do. Somewhere to go. Some way to make money??? Figure out how to be an adult effectively?

I worry about how abrupt that transition is going to be. Is now the time to start looking for some sort of opportunity? But how do I know what to look for? Where do I look? What opportunities will be feasible? When will businesses open again? When will we be able to leave our houses? 

I’m scared for what’s next. Life is so fragile and it’s strange to think that now is the time I’ve always waited for. 

I had certain expectations for the future, but obviously life isn’t as predictable as I had hoped for. I never had any concept of anything… going wrong as I was about to transition to another part of my life.

These moments are so far out of my control that all I can do is watch.